One day, when my brother was 18, he waltzed into the living room and proudly announced to my mother and me that one solar day he was going to be a senator. My mom probably gave him the "That's dainty, dear," treatment while I'1000 sure I was distracted by a basin of Cheerios or something.

But for fifteen years, this purpose informed all of my brother'south life decisions: what he studied in school, where he chose to live, who he continued with, and fifty-fifty what he did with many of his vacations and weekends.

Subsequently nigh one-half a lifetime of work later on, he's the chairman of a major political political party and a gauge. He also ran for state congress in his 30s and barely lost.

Don't become me wrong. My brother is a freak. This basically never happens.

Well-nigh of united states have no clue what we desire to do with our lives. Even subsequently we finish school. Even after nosotros become a task. Even afterward nosotros're making coin. Between ages 18 and 25, I inverse career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I had a business organisation, it took another four years to conspicuously define what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you're more like me and have no clue what you want to exercise. It's a struggle almost every adult goes through. "What do I desire to exercise with my life?" "What am I passionate well-nigh?" "What practice I not suck at?" I often receive emails from people in their 40s and 50s who still accept no clue what they want to do with themselves.

Part of the problem is the concept of "life purpose" itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it's at present our catholic mission to discover it. This is the same kind of shitty logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but merely on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Here'due south the truth. Nosotros exist on this globe for some undetermined period of fourth dimension. During that time nosotros practice things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically but kill time.

Then when people say, "What should I do with my life?" or "What is my life purpose?" what they're actually request is:

This is an infinitely better question to enquire. Information technology'southward far more manageable and it doesn't have all of the ridiculous baggage that the "life purpose" question does. There's no reason for you to exist contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your burrow all day eating Doritos. Rather, yous should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to you lot.

One of the nearly common email questions I get is people asking me what they should do with their lives, what their "life purpose" is. This is an impossible question for me to reply. Later all, for all I know, this person is really into knitting sweaters for kittens or filming gay bondage porn in their basement. I have no clue. Who am I to say what's right or what'southward of import to them?

But after some research, I have put together a serial of questions to help you effigy out for yourself what is important to you and what can add more meaning to your life.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In fact, they're a little flake ridiculous. But I made them that manner because discovering purpose in our lives should be something that'due south fun and interesting, not a chore.

So whether you're looking for your dream chore, thinking well-nigh starting a 2nd career, or you just don't want to spend your entire life wondering "what if…", hopefully you find some meaningful answers to these ridiculous—only kind of idea-provoking—questions.

What'south Your Favorite Flavor of Shit Sandwich and Does It Come With an Olive?

What shit sandwich practise you lot want to consume? Because somewhen, nosotros all get served ane.

Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich would yous like to eat? Because here'due south the viscid petty truth most life that they don't tell you at high schoolhouse pep rallies:

Everything sucks, some of the time.

At present, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic. And y'all may be thinking, "Hey Mr. Manson, plow that frown upside down." Only I actually think this is a liberating thought.

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. And then, the question becomes: what struggle or cede are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something nosotros care well-nigh is our power to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you lot want to be a vivid tech entrepreneur, but you can't handle failure, so you lot're not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional person creative person, but y'all aren't willing to encounter your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then you're washed earlier y'all start. If you want to be a hotshot courtroom lawyer, just can't stand the 80-hour workweeks, and so I've got bad news for you.

Finding your life purpose involves eating a shit sandwich or twoWhat unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all nighttime coding? Are you able to put off starting a family for ten years? Are you able to have people laugh you lot off the phase over and over again until you get information technology right?

What shit sandwich exercise you desire to eat? Because we all get served one eventually.

And your favorite shit sandwich is your competitive advantage. By definition, anything that you lot're willing to do (that you lot enjoy doing) that most people are non willing to do gives y'all a huge leg-up.

And then, find your favorite shit sandwich. And you might as well pick 1 with an olive.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You lot:

  • What struggles you are willing to tolerate to get what you lot want
  • What you will likely be better than other people at

Something nigh the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of u.s.. Nosotros're taught that the only reason to do something is if we're somehow rewarded for it. And the transactional nature of the world inevitably stifles us and makes us feel lost or stuck.

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit down in my room for hours by myself, writing away, about aliens, about superheroes, well-nigh swell warriors, virtually my friends and family. Not because I wanted anyone to read information technology. Not considering I wanted to impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And so, for some reason, I stopped. And I don't recall why.

Nosotros all have a tendency to lose touch with what nosotros loved as a child. Something about the social pressures of boyhood and professional person pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We're taught that the merely reason to do something is if we're somehow rewarded for it. And the transactional nature of the globe inevitably stifles us and makes us feel lost or stuck.

It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing. And it wasn't until I started my concern that I remembered how much I enjoyed building websites—something I did in my early teens, just for fun.

The funny thing though, is that if my 8-year-sometime self asked my xx-twelvemonth-old self, "Why don't y'all write anymore?" and I replied, "Because I'm not adept at it," or "Considering nobody would read what I write," or "Considering y'all tin't make coin doing that," not only would I have been completely wrong, but that eight-year-old-boy version of me would take probably started crying. That viii-year-sometime male child didn't intendance about Google traffic or social media virality or book advances. He only wanted to play. And that's where passion always begins: with a sense of play.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What childhood passion y'all lost to adulthood
  • What activity you should revisit, just for the fun of it

Wait at the activities that go on y'all up all night, but expect at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall y'all. Because they tin hands exist practical elsewhere.

We've all had that feel where we get and then wrapped upwards in something that minutes plough into hours and hours turn into "Holy crap, I forgot to take dinner."

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton's female parent had to regularly come up in and remind him to swallow because he would spend entire days so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn't a good thing. In fact, for many years it was kind of a problem. I would sit and play video games instead of doing more important things like studying for an exam, or showering regularly, or speaking to other humans face-to-face.

It wasn't until I gave up the games that I realized my passion wasn't for the games themselves (although I do love them). My passion is for comeback, existence skilful at something and and then trying to get better. The games themselves—the graphics, the stories—they were cool, but I can easily live without them. It's the competition with others and with myself that I thrive on.

And when I applied that obsessiveness for cocky-improvement and competition to my own concern and to my writing, well, things took off in a large way.

Maybe for yous, information technology's something else. Maybe it's organizing things efficiently, or getting lost in a fantasy world, or teaching somebody something, or solving technical problems. Any it is, don't simply look at the activities that keep you up all dark, simply look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they can hands be applied elsewhere.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What you lot truly enjoy doing
  • What other activities to check out that you might besides savour

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something of import, something meaningful. The more than a major life decision scares y'all, chances are the more you need to be doing it.

Before you are able to be good at something and practice something important, yous must first suck at something and have no clue what you lot're doing. That'southward pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and have no clue what y'all're doing, yous must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And almost people attempt to avoid embarrassing themselves, namely because information technology sucks.

Ergo, due to the transitive property of awesomeness, if you avoid anything that could potentially embarrass yous, and so yous will never cease up doing something that feels of import.

Yes, it seems that in one case over again, it all comes back to vulnerability.

Correct now, there's something you want to practise, something you lot think about doing, something yous fantasize about doing, yet you don't do it. You accept your reasons, no doubt. And yous echo these reasons to yourself advertisement infinitum.

Just what are those reasons? Because I tin can tell you right at present that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you're screwing yourself over big time.

If your reasons are something like, "I tin can't start a business organisation because spending time with my kids is more important to me," or "Playing Starcraft all 24-hour interval would probably interfere with my music, and music is more than important to me," then OK. Sounds good.

But if your reasons are, "My parents would hate information technology," or "My friends would make fun of me," or "If I failed, I'd look like an idiot," then chances are, you're really fugitive something you truly care nigh because caring about that matter is what scares the shit out of yous, not what mom thinks or what Timmy next door says.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, nosotros must go against the herd mentality. And to practice that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is function of the path to achieving something of import, something meaningful. The more than a major life conclusion scares you, chances are the more than you lot need to exist doing information technology.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What scares the shit out of you… for practiced reason
  • That you should stop making lousy excuses and start doing something

You're not going to fix the world's problems by yourself. But you tin can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what'southward nigh important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

In case you lot haven't seen the news lately, the world has a few problems. And by "a few problems," what I really mean is, "everything is fucked and we're all going to die."

I've harped on this before, and the inquiry besides bears it out, but to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction.i

Then pick a problem and start saving the earth. There are enough to choose from. Our screwed up education systems, economical development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning on sex trafficking in the U.s. and it got me all riled up and wishing I could practise something. Information technology also ruined my breakfast.

Detect a problem yous care virtually and start solving it. Patently, you're not going to fix the world's problems by yourself. But you can contribute and brand a divergence. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what's virtually important for your own happiness and fulfillment. And importance equals purpose.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Gee Mark, I read all of this horrible stuff and I go all pissed off too, but that doesn't translate to action, much less a new career path."

Glad you asked…

The Reply to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What problem yous intendance about that'southward larger than you lot
  • How you can make a divergence

Discovering what you're passionate about in life and what matters to you is a full-contact sport, a trial-by-burn process. None of us know exactly how we feel about an action until we really practice the activity.

For many of united states, the enemy is just old-fashioned complacency. We get into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy. And zilch new happens.

This is a problem.

What most people don't empathise is that passion is the result of activity, not the cause of it. two , 3

Discovering what you're passionate about in life and what matters to you is a full-contact sport, a trial-by-fire process. None of us know exactly how nosotros feel about an activity until nosotros actually do the activity.

So ask yourself, if someone put a gun to your caput and forced you to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, you lot tin't just go sit in a java store and browse Facebook. Y'all probably already practise that. Let's pretend at that place are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. Take yourself back to the 90'southward when Facebook, Instagram, all this social media clusterfuck almost of us spend half our lives on had however to be invented. You have to be outside of the house all twenty-four hours every day actively doing something until it's fourth dimension to go to bed—where would you lot become and what would you do?

Sign upwards for a trip the light fantastic toe class? Join a volume society? Get get some other degree? Invent a new course of irrigation system that can relieve the thousands of children'southward lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would yous do with all of that time? What activity would yous cull above all others? We all accept but 24 hours in a day, and and so we're back to the all-important question that we all should exist asking ourselves:

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and and so, you know, get out and actually practice them. Bonus points if it involves embarrassing yourself.

The Answer to This Question Volition Tell You:

  • What you were passionate about all along
  • How y'all should spend your fourth dimension

Ultimately, death is the only thing that gives united states of america perspective on the value of our lives. Because information technology'south only by imagining your non-being that you can get a sense of what is most important well-nigh your beingness.

Most of usa don't like thinking about death. Information technology freaks us out. But thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. 1 of those advantages is that information technology forces us to zip in on what's actually important in our lives and what's simply frivolous and distracting.

When I was in college, I used to walk effectually and inquire people, "If yous had a year to live, what would you do?" As yous can imagine, I was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and deadening answers. A few drinks were nigh spat on me. Only information technology did cause people to really recall near their lives in a different way and re-evaluate what their priorities were.

Ultimately, death is the simply thing that gives us perspective on the value of our lives. Because information technology'southward just past imagining your not-existence that you lot can get a sense of what is most important nearly your existence. What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you're gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How tin you start working towards that today?

And once more, if you fantasize virtually your obituary saying a agglomeration of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then over again, yous're failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, information technology's because they don't know what's important to them, they don't know what their values are.

And when you don't know what your values are, so you're essentially taking on other people's values and living other people's priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.

Discovering one's "purpose" in life substantially boils downwards to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you, values that volition make up one's mind your priorities and guide your actions. It's not about some groovy accomplishment, but merely finding a way to spend your limited amount of time well. And to practise that you must get off your couch and act, and take the time to recall beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.

The Respond to This Question Volition Tell You:

  • What is almost important to y'all
  • What values should guide your deportment

Ready to find your purpose in life?

If yous enjoyed this and you're set up to get your shit together, check out my course, Detect Your Life Purpose . Nosotros'll go deep to effigy out what really drives you lot. Then you'll come up up with a stride-by-step program to get off your donkey and start going after what you want in life.

It's part of The Subtle Fine art School, a collection of courses and tons of other content that teach you to give less of a fuck and live a fuller, more meaningful life.